Dazzling Blue

Calm, steady gravel-thread hands. I remember, precise – your nose. Every beach – driving. Hump-back down those roads.

Seagulls. Seagrass. Always. Us.

‘Plumbing, Pliers, Electronics. Understand these my friend’, defy all logic.

(Calm steady gravel-thread hands…)

Humpback down those roads.

Remember when you told me off?

I do. Hot-shame-smart. Righteousness

Ready well of tears and sadness-chasm,

Bones knuckle-white threadbare on the arms of that weathered chair: ‘Of course!’ Scream too. Let it all out. I do.

Calm steady gravel-thread hands.

Arms on that threadbare chair.

Cheerfulness, Whistling,

When something went unstoppably wrong, And it did – because we were children,

But then when things went right…

But then when things went right…

It was bubble-gold and pressing against sides of mouth, exploding almost to come against stomach – it was compressed. Joy-yelp. It was safety.

Familiar weight-crunch on gravel. Needing you. Steady car.

Sometimes, I think, you needed us,

Snoring like an Octopus. Legs up in the air. Canine breath coming through The Keep. Back seat. Dog hair everywhere.

‘What’s that?’

‘Alright lovie? Didn’t see you there’.

‘Grandad, Grandad you alright Grandad?’

‘Yes yerrs just drifted off’

That was it.

You were there.

Listen.

I listen to music – The way I do, because of you.

I feel music. The way I do. Because of you.

Dazzling Blue.

So – Thank you for the happiness, for the thanks that went unseen.

For all my life, you were to me, a haven of soft warm green.

Maybe love’s an accident, or destiny is true. 

But you made sure I was born beneath, a star of dazzling blue.

Still. Peace. Quiet. The morning after someone I loved died I came here… And Sound. I remembered. Another voice. Music in the air.

Dalston Eastern Curve Garden is set back from traffic-swarm. Blink and you’ll miss it. Community, space -families to play, herbs, bees soak through your skin, floral dappling on sunlight. Music. Most importantly – he would have liked it.

We’ll build a wall, that nothing can break through 

And we’ll dream our dreams of dazzling blue 

In Love&Light… Grandad. FS XOX

 

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